Tuesday, March 11
A couple of weeks ago, I was very overwhelmed and was crying overcome by fear. My boyfriend stayed by my side and comforted me. At times I wanted to push him away. “I don’t deserve this,” I thought. “Am I just a burden?” Thoughts and feelings of unworthiness flooded my mind. My heart felt like it was breaking. Just then the lyrics “Please don’t fight these hands that are holding you,” from Tenth Avenue North’s song, “By Your Side,” came rushing into my head. In that moment, I realized my tendency to push away those I love, falsely believing that I must do everything myself. I also became aware of how often I do this to God. “I’ve got this,” I tell Him. Meanwhile my life seems to spiral increasingly out of control because I try to control it, forgetting that God already has a loving plan for my life.
God is not a task master waiting to beat me when I mess up, but rather, a merciful Savior full of love and compassion. He is the Father in the parable of the prodigal son ready to embrace us when we turn towards Him. This season of Lent is the merciful Father’s invitation to turn towards Him again, to surrender our lives to Him and let Him lead the way. He is constantly inviting us into a deeper relationship with Him through prayer and reception of the sacraments.
God let me experience a deeper understanding of His love and mercy through his son Adam. This Lent I am learning to sit and allow God to love me, to listen to His voice calling me His Beloved. I invite you to do the same. May we learn to trust in Him and allow Him to embrace us with His love. We do not need to lead lives of fear. Rather, God invites us to live lives full of His peace and joy as we learn to let Him love us and love Him in return.
Catherine Richthammer is an actress and teacher based in Pittsburgh. Her favorite part about theatre is its invitation to grow in empathy by experiencing the human condition and reflecting on the beauty and love of God.
You can find out more about her here.