Ash Wednesday
Rend your hearts, not your garments.
Today’s first reading from Joel contains one of the Bible’s most beautiful descriptions of true repentance. It’s a reminder about how we as Christians are meant to approach a season of fasting. This is not an external change, the prophet tells us, this is an internal change.
At first glance, all of today’s readings seem a bit incongruous with Ash Wednesday, a day most associated with its striking external sign. Catholics, and many other Christian denominations, mark this day by drawing an ashen cross on our foreheads. This would seem to contradict Jesus’ advice to his disciples in Matthew’s Gospel:
"When you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden.”
Jesus tells us to wash our faces! And we’re going around with ashes on our heads! What’s going on here?
First and foremost, we must remember that the important aspect of today is not the ashes, but the fast. The important aspect of the fast is the repentance. Rend your hearts, not your garments. If you wear ashes but do no penance, you are one of the hypocrites. If you do penance but do not change your heart then your penance was in vain.
Second, today’s readings are instructions for the entire Lenten season, not just today. We will not be going around with crosses on our heads until Easter Sunday, but we will be fasting for the duration of this time.
When I use the word fast here, I do not strictly mean abstaining from food. I’m due to have a baby on March 3rd! I’m sure I won’t be skipping any meals on March 5th or likely for the duration of Lent. But I will be fasting. The Lord has given me a special gift this Lent, a unique and sacred way to retreat from the world. The fact that my maternity leave will coincide with the season of Lent is a tiny miracle and a very specific instruction as to the kind of fast God wants me to make. It is not one anyone else will see.
The ashes we put on today are not an external sign to others of our superior holiness, but a reminder to ourselves that we are entering into a whole season of repentance. That season is going to look profoundly different for every one of us. If done properly, it will change your whole heart.
Others will undoubtedly see the fruits of this transformation. They will see it in our increased patience and the newfound joy we carry with us come Easter. But they will not see how the change occurred because they will not have seen the fast. The only person who will have seen the fast is God.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.
Editor’s Note: Since writing the above reflection, Emily gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Sebastian Michael Baroz, on February 28. We thank God for the gift of Sebby’s life and ask you to keep this young family in your prayers as they navigate this beautiful new season.
Emily Claire Schmitt is a Brooklyn-based playwright, screenwriter, and dramaturg focused on excavating the divine mysteries within the modern world. Emily is honored to serve as the Executive Director of The Catholic Artist Connection.
You can find out more about her here.