Saturday, April 5
“O Lord, my God, in you I take refuge.” I do not think I fully understood the meaning of today’s Responsorial Psalm until this Lent. Like many writers in the world, I have a day job and by day I work as a tax accountant. For me, Lent usually falls during one of the busiest times of the year at work: spring tax season. This usually means working long hours on the weekdays and Saturdays, tight turnarounds for client deliverables, hard internal and external deadlines, and not a lot of time for leisure and rest.
This year, I felt the effects of spring tax season weigh heavier on me than the first two years at my job. The stressful demands at work started getting to me both emotionally, physically, mentally, and even spiritually. I saw myself seeing my worth through my productivity and how much I could get accomplished in a day. I saw my worries at work spiral into tears and panic attacks.
And scariest of all, I felt like I was losing myself—that I could not recognize the person I became and that I was a shell of who I was.
Thankfully, God intervened this season through one of my college friends who is now a FOCUS Missionary at the University of Virginia. She recommended that I pray the Surrender Novena as part of my Lenten prayer practice. For those who are not familiar with this novena, the Surrender Novena is a 9-day novena prayer revealed to Servant of God Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo by Our Lord as a way to meditate on what it means to surrender to God’s will and to teach us to give all our troubles to Him.
As the words from Day 2 of the novena state, “Surrender to (God) does not mean to fret, to be upset, or to lose hope,” surrendering to God means to “turn away from thoughts of tribulation and to put (ourselves) in (His) care.” Through this novena, I learned that though it is normal to feel worry, anxiety, and stress during this time of year at work, as long as I surrender to the Lord and rest in His care, He will help me get through this rough season of my life and through all the rough seasons that will come during my pilgrimage here on Earth. The Lord reminded me through this novena that my worth is not based on my productivity, what job I have, whether I am a full-time writer or not, or how much money I make. My worth is solely based on the truth that I am loved by God and that I am His beloved daughter.
This Lent, may we all be reminded to surrender and take refuge in the God who loves us. For as long as we rest in His care, He will always help us weather through the storms in our lives.
Vince Marie Cuison is a writer, singer, and musician based in Queens, NY and Northern CA.
You can learn more about her here.