Thursday, April 3
Invitation, Ritagail Burleson.
Content warning: trauma, abuse, mental health
When The Eclipse Departs
One warm March night
I sat
Alone
With the reddened moon,
The sparkling stars,
And the Eternal One.
And gazing through the stars
I nearly forgot the heartaches
That have broken my soul.
Three of them loom this April:
The thirtieth year of
Landing
In a Church where I’d hoped
To find a Home.
And thirty years of being barred
From studying art and religion
Together,
Because, the professor said,
For the two to work together
Would be just “too hard.”
But that would be okay,
Because my new family
Of the Church
Would welcome my art—
But, no—
It reminded them
Too much of their internal war,
Even though I hadn’t taken any part.
And then, there’s the fiftieth
Year since the party given me
For turning fourteen
In the mental health facility—
There because of violence done
In our family.
They found I wasn’t to blame
But laws weren’t the same
As they are in these years,
So I was sent back with:
A guitar,
Encouragement to keep creating,
Three volumes of Middle-earth,
And once more
Alone
In
My
Tears.
(The reason for the violence,
The accusations,
Proved groundless
Just this past year.)
Now here I am old,
Tired, worn,
Wishing I’d never been born,
Except—
I pick up a volume of Middle-earth
And a volume of Tolkien’s art
And a volume of the walls
Of Britain’s churches
That used to blossom in “folk art”—
And back on my porch step
As I watch the dimming stars
And the brightening Moon
I seem to hear the Eternal One
Sing to me
“Thou hast survived Mt. Doom.
Come, My child, leave them to
Their wars and strifes
And dance through My stars
To Eternal Life.”
And so, marking the places
Where Sam appears,
He who journeyed along for Love
In the realms of Middle-earth,
I prepare to celebrate
And thank the Eternal One
For these anniversaries of
All
Of my births.
When Ritagail Burleson isn’t in Middle Earth (or sometimes Oz) she’s trying to figure out how best to use the creative gifts the Eternal One gave her to leave something encouraging behind for future generations.
You can learn more about her here.