March 20th, 2024
There are two similar quotes from Jesus in today’s Gospel reading that I find particularly striking: “You look for an opportunity to kill me” and “now you are trying to kill me.” What makes these quotes so astonishing to me is that Jesus is directing them to “the Jews who had believed in him.” That is, not to his declared enemies but to those who profess to now follow him.
When I reflect on this, I am reminded that the Gospel is the “living word” and therefore directed to me, and all people, personally. Thus, these quotes are not just directed toward people in the past but toward me. Knowing this, I have to ask myself a very uncomfortable question: as one who believes in Christ, in what way am I trying to kill (or remove) Christ’s living presence from my life?
This question might sound overly harsh, a perfect example of “Catholic guilt.” But I don’t ask it to make myself feel guilty, but rather as a source of self-examination. After all, Christ came to save and not condemn. So, his living word is always salvific in its intent. It is meant to heal me, to free me. So, I ask myself the following:
-In what ways do I view Christ as a restriction on my freedom rather than as the source of it?
-In what areas of my life do I view the teaching of Christ as a heavy burden, when in truth it is intended to lighten all burdens?
-In what circumstances of my life do I refuse to be in communion with Christ, either directly or indirectly, out of fear or hurt?
As we approach Palm Sunday, where the Gospel records the crowd’s shout of “crucify him”, let us ask ourselves in what corners and hidden areas of our lives we seek to avoid or push away God’s invitation of love due to the falsehoods, distortions, and fears we have believed. But, let this reflection not be a source of fear or guilt, but rather let it be a desire to be liberated from all fear by the one who came to set us free.
Geoffrey Zokal is a writer and filmmaker living in Chicago.