March 15th, 2024
Is Lent Supposed to be this hard?
Lent is hard. I don’t mean hard from the standpoint of what I am giving up. Actually, giving up social media has been somewhat easy and beneficial. No, it’s not that; it is just hard! I have noticed an inner sadness; an abiding desolation (as Ignatius would call it). It is like I am swimming in a pool of hopelessness; of isolation; of fear; of coldness toward the things of God. I usually find comfort in spiritual reading and prayer, but lately it is like the heavens are brass and, honestly, I think I could abandon the whole thing if it weren’t for sheer determination to stick with it. What is going on? Lent.
Lent, for those of us who follow the liturgical calendar, is meant to be a season of walking with Jesus to the cross. The season of Lent begins on Ash Wednesday, reminding us that we came from dust and to dust we will return. It is an opportunity to align ourselves with our Savior who went to the cross for us.
St Paul reminds us that “...it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake…” Phil 1:29.
It has been granted to suffer? Really?
I was brought up in a particular Protestant/Evangelical world where being saved meant that belief in God would somehow make us healthy, happy and rich; suffering was really not part of the picture. We were not supposed to suffer because Jesus took on all the suffering for us, so we didn’t have to.
Lent has become for me a reminder not only of what Jesus did, but of how I can find hope even in my own suffering. My little suffering could never compare to what Jesus went through for me, but if I can just offer up my suffering to his Sacred Heart, I can find there a deepening of intimacy with Jesus. I can find compassion for my neighbor who also suffers in ways I may never know, but in discovering Jesus’ heart for him or her I may meet Christ in them in ways I never could otherwise.
I have often prayed that the Lord would give me the grace of a deeper intimacy with him. I thought intimacy with Jesus would bring about good feelings of closeness with him. I am discovering in this season of Lent, in answer to my prayer, he is inviting me into his Holy Sacred Heart where he experiences the pain of rejection and ingratitude; the pain of seeing injustice for the poor and marginalized; the pain of seeing the negative ways people treat each other every day. Lent teaches that part of intimacy with Jesus is feeling Jesus' pain and letting him share in ours.
May each of us share this same experience of intimacy with Christ this Lenten season.
Gary Thomas:
I am an artist and an Ignatian trained spiritual director. I currently serve as evangelization coordinator at St Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in St. Louis.
I love helping people connect with Jesus through art and spiritual direction. I am currently writing an online memoir of my conversion from Assemblies of God pastor to the Catholic Church. Feel free to follow me here: https://garthoma.substack.com/