February 28th, 2024
“Save me, O Lord, in your kindness.”
I wish I’d had today’s psalm response memorized during the years I spent in school for music. Those were difficult years for me, filled with plenty of practice sessions, rehearsals, and performances in which, more often than not, I wound up berating myself for – well, just about everything. As an oldest child, perfectionism already seemed to be a given struggle for me in life. The unique atmosphere of higher arts education threw fuel on that fire until it blazed. Learning to critique my skills (and the skills of others) rather than criticize harshly was a lesson I needed to learn, but it was one I just couldn’t seem to learn on my own.
“Save me, O Lord, in your kindness.”
I may not have been actively praying that psalm during my time in music school, but the Lord did, in His kindness, save me from the black hole of perfectionism, and He continues to do so today. Thanks to God’s grace, I can critique without being critical. It has made me a more loving, compassionate person both within my artistic pursuits and in the greater scope of my life. I still have a long way to go, but I can look back clearly and see that the Lord, in His kindness, has been saving me with total gentleness and compassion.
But I know this battle is not unique to me. Perfectionism runs rampant among those of us with artistic sensibilities and talents. We grasp the true power of beauty, and it stirs our souls to do something noble with our art, to use our talents in wonderfully profound ways.
However, the brokenness that began with Adam and Eve runs through our hearts, too. We are wounded. We need a Healer. We cannot go it alone. This is why Jesus came. He doesn’t want us to go it alone. In His kindness, He wants to help us, and He wants to heal us.
Earlier this Lent, we heard Mark’s account of how Jesus went into the desert for forty days and was tempted by Satan. However, Mark’s account leaves out details that we find in Matthew’s version. When Satan tempts Jesus, what does Jesus do? He responds with Scripture, giving us a tangible, practical example of how to fight temptation. This is an actionable step we can take when we are faced with temptations, and that includes temptations to perfectionism, or any spiritual struggle we might face with our art!
And if you don’t have any Scripture verses on the top of your head to fight the enemy with? Now you’ve got one:
“Save me, O Lord, in your kindness.”
Cecilia Blackwell is a freelance music teacher, seamstress, and writer located in Central PA. You can learn more about her here.